Desperation
FOREVER, that is how long it has felt like since I last had a diet coke! Yes, I have still been faithful and have not had anything with carbonation in it since last year. Am I still missing it? YES, YES and YES! Lately, with added stress in my life I have really been tempted to give in and have a diet coke. But I have looked away from temptation and resisted the urge and had a iced tea instead. I know it sounds crazy but for whatever reason in the past I have found it as a stress reliever. While I have done well with my committment to not drink any carbonated beverage, my scripture memorizing is starting to lag behind. I have added a new verse each week until this week, which I plan to do next but am still struggling to learn the last one. I chose an appropriate verse based on how I have felt the past couple of months. “O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.” Psalm 63:1 I am definitely in a dry and weary land both literally and figuratively. Lately, I have missed the sense of God’s spirit. I know His presence has never left me, I just feel as though He is not answering me. I know that even through his silence he is answering me, but this is a new place that I find myself that I am not use to. I have realised that silence is the hardest lesson to learn. I was flipping thru the tv channels a couple of days ago and stopped when I saw Beth Moore teaching. It was perfect timing as she was teaching about desperation and being desperate for the Lord. She had said that sometimes God has to bring us to a point of desperation for us to stop and turn to Him. I have experienced desperation the last few months as my prayers have not been answered as quickly as I would like them to. God’s silence has caused me to long for Him even more, to pray more and to be in the word more. So I know that He has a plan and has not forgotten me but I would really like to know what that plan is. Thank you God, that even through your silence you are still teaching me.
