Reflections and Celebrations
I have spent the last few days reflecting back on 2009 as we celebrate the coming of the new year and my 36th birthday. I ventured to look back at my past postings and last year’s resolutions. So much has happened in just one year. What is strange is that I have said that the past couple of years. Our life has been very busy with 3 children, another cross country move and a new ministry. Many life lessons learned and many of God’s blessings along the way. I must admit I lasted about 6 months with last year’s resolutions. I don’t count all things lost though it was 6 months. I continue to look at this year’s resolutions. Not as fancy as last year but still a challenge I have set before myself. Three areas are focused: 1. Physical 2. Mental and 3. Spiritual. Physically I am challenging myself to get active and stay aware of what I put in my mouth to eat. Mentally I am attempting to go back to school and work on my master’s degree. Spiritually I am staying in the word and constant prayer. I am so thankful to be back home in Kentucky serving at Peter’s home church. It has been so refreshing to experience God moving a mighty way in His people. We are so excited to be part of such an awesome ministry!
Confirmation
WOW, I am behind with updating my blog and I am so sorry! So much has happened I am not sure where I should start. I read my last post to catch up where I last left off. I find it ironic that my last post was about desperation and my new post is about confirmation. Right about the time of my last post we began praying about a possible move. The move was confirmed this past weekend. We canidated at Mt. Sterling Church of God in Mt. Sterling, KY for the student ministry’s position. This is the church that Peter grew up in from 3rd grade until college, his dad was the pastor. We have missed Kentucky and have discovered that Kentucky is our home. Sometimes as we have learned it takes leaving a place to realize that it is where you call home. My heart overflows with joy as I think about how God has confirmed our decision to move back to Kentucky.
We started the weekend asking God to make our decision crystal clear. We have questioned ourselves so much since our last move we wanted to make sure without a doubt our next decision. The Saturday we were there Peter preached to the teenagers. Afterwards they decided to allow the teens to take a vote since most of them were not old enough to vote at church on Sunday. Peter and I both looked at each other because their previous youth pastor had just left that Monday. But God was faithful and despite their recent loss they voted 100%! We were so excited with the results. Sunday Peter was to preach both services at church and before it was time for him to preach they had a special in music. Now just that morning Peter and I were talking about how we wished Peter’s mom could have been there to know where we were canidating and how happy she would have been. We pushed back the tears and went inside. As the special in music began we both looked at each other and began to cry. The hymn that was beginning to play was “There is a Fountain” (not sure if that is the real name but it’s what we call it). The significance behind that song was the last time we heard or sang it was at Peter’s mom’s funeral when he sang it in memory of her. Some may call that a coincidence, however we called it a confirmation from God! Then to top it off when the congregation took their vote it was again 100%! Praise God for giving us no doubt in accepting the call to Mt. Sterling Church of God!
Please remember us in your prayers as we begin another transition with our family this summer! We are praising God for His continuous blessings!
Desperation
FOREVER, that is how long it has felt like since I last had a diet coke! Yes, I have still been faithful and have not had anything with carbonation in it since last year. Am I still missing it? YES, YES and YES! Lately, with added stress in my life I have really been tempted to give in and have a diet coke. But I have looked away from temptation and resisted the urge and had a iced tea instead. I know it sounds crazy but for whatever reason in the past I have found it as a stress reliever. While I have done well with my committment to not drink any carbonated beverage, my scripture memorizing is starting to lag behind. I have added a new verse each week until this week, which I plan to do next but am still struggling to learn the last one. I chose an appropriate verse based on how I have felt the past couple of months. “O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.” Psalm 63:1 I am definitely in a dry and weary land both literally and figuratively. Lately, I have missed the sense of God’s spirit. I know His presence has never left me, I just feel as though He is not answering me. I know that even through his silence he is answering me, but this is a new place that I find myself that I am not use to. I have realised that silence is the hardest lesson to learn. I was flipping thru the tv channels a couple of days ago and stopped when I saw Beth Moore teaching. It was perfect timing as she was teaching about desperation and being desperate for the Lord. She had said that sometimes God has to bring us to a point of desperation for us to stop and turn to Him. I have experienced desperation the last few months as my prayers have not been answered as quickly as I would like them to. God’s silence has caused me to long for Him even more, to pray more and to be in the word more. So I know that He has a plan and has not forgotten me but I would really like to know what that plan is. Thank you God, that even through your silence you are still teaching me.
Stuff, Stuff and More Stuff
I visited our storage unit a couple of days ago for the first time since we have moved. I realized I am thankful that is the only time I have braved to visit. After looking at the small garage and how stuffed it was with our stuff I realized that it was just stuff. It has been 6 months now that we have lived without all of the stuff we once thought was so valuable. Now don’t get me wrong my pictures and mementos are important to me but that was not what I was looking at. In front of me was just junk. Furniture, toys, clothes, clothes and more clothes and all of it we have been living without for 6 months now. Then I had a great idea, I thought how about we just list our storage unit and all of the stuff in it on ebay and see what we could get for it. It would furnish a three bedroom house and then some. However, my family would probably not agree to such a radical decision but it sounds better to me then having to unpack all of it. It made me realize how much we had placed value on things that really we could live without. Every week that goes by and we don’t have our stuff, the less stuff I care to have. Maybe that is the lesson I am suppose to be learning through this process. I am reminded of a very popular scripture that seems so true to me these past 6 months, “But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:20, 21. I believe that for too long now my treasure has been material things that you can live without and do not really need. Ask yourself, what do you value? What is your treasure? You may be surprised at your answer.
Rain on a Sunny Day!
WOW! Long time, no post. Does that mean that nothing has happened? No, I guess I have just been pushing it back. Sometimes when I write on this it causes me to reflect on things going on and I haven’t felt like reflecting. Today I was driving home from church and even though there were a few clouds in the sky it was very bright and sunny. All of a sudden it started raining with the sun still shining. That made me think about things that are happening in my life right now and how I feel. On one side I feel motivated and excited and can sense the presence of God, but on the other in the middle of that sun there is a rain cloud that just keeps popping up occasionally and I ask God where He is and why I can’t sense His presence. I have been reading my Bible in One Year each night and each night there is a section of the Psalms to read. Many times David is crying out to God asking where He is and other times praising God for who He is. That is who I relate to right now, one moment crying out and the next praising Him for who He is. Sometimes it is so hard to see past your circumstance and know that there will be a silver lining. I just keep reminding myself that it is just a season and with seasons they come and go. My prayer is that I will take what this season has brought, remember it and learn from it. ”There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1
Hiking
Today I went hiking at a park that has different trails in the mountains. I thought to myself, I have been working out for a couple of weeks I should be able to hike the mountain without a problem! Well I was wrong, it was harder than I remembered and my husband kept saying “what’s wrong are your legs hurting?”. All I wanted to say was I can’t breathe! I huffed and puffed all the way up and down the mountain. It was a humbling experience to be hiking while bikers, kids and people carrying kids pass you on the trail! All I could think of was what my friend once told me, take it one step at a time and just keep going, looking straight ahead. I did finally make it up and back down the mountain, but I learned that I am still not in shape and I need to keep exercising! I remembered thinking as I was walking up the mountain, that with each step I took going up I had to work hard and push myself to move, that is where I find myself right now in my spiritual walk. I feel as though I have been in a valley and I am trying to climb myself out, but with each step I want to quit and stay still but God is pushing me on promising me there is a light at the end of the tunnel! “He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.”. Psalm 40:2,3a
Eat, Walk, and Eat Again
You guessed it my greatest challenge this week has been eating-too much eating! My greatest temptation lately has been over eating. Two goals for dieting was to not eat carbs past 4:00 and to not eat anything past 7:00. Sounds simple I know but it has been very hard for me to eat before 7:00 these last few days. I have still been exercising but I don’t know that it has done any good because of my eating habits. But I keep telling myself one battle at a time and there is always tomorrow! My urge to drink Diet Coke resurfaced again yesterday. Some days seem easier than others. Today’s God Stop: I had left Isaiah alone on the floor for just a couple of minutes earlier today and when I returned to the room I saw his mouth closed shut just looking at me. I got the motherly feeling that he was up to something and decided to check his mouth. Inside his mouth was a small lego! Thank God for allowing me to swipe it out of his mouth before he attempted to swallow it! I am taking joy from even the smallest things God is doing in my life!
God Stops
Wow, I am so sorry it has been a few days since I have written on the blog. I had planned on skipping a few days but not this many! I thought I would reflect on some God stops that have happened the past few days. I am trying to let go of my negative, bitter thoughts and focus on what my new scripture this week tells me to do. I have chosen Phillipians 4:8, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.” I chose this scripture because of my thought process lately. I have realized a lot lately that your thoughts effect how your whole body feels. I guess it is true what they say about “mind over body”?? Ok, ok I think I have been doing too much yoga. Anyway, For those of you who have never taken a Beth Moore study “God Stops” are circumstances big or small that you see God at work. So my first God Stop was my house getting fixed and the bill being being taken care of. Second, it has been 15 days since I last had a diet coke. This has been the longest I have ever gone without drinking a carbonated beverage. Third, I have been exercising for a full week and have lost 2 pounds! God has given me the strength I have needed to do even the smallest things. For that I am thankful. Fourthly, God provided me an opportunity to spend time reading about the needs others are having during this tough time in our country on the Beth Moore blog. I realized I am only one of many having financial struggles during this time and mine are minor compared to others. It gives you a change in perspective walking in someone else’s shoes. I am very thankful that God has and continues to provide for my family’s needs! My challenge for you is to find at least one God Stop in your day tomorrow. You will be suprised that when you make a point to look for God working in your life you find Him.
Craving Control
Movie night was tonight! I went to the movies tonight and needless to say I failed big time on the diet! This was probably the hardest time not to have a diet coke! I wanted one so bad, but I ordered lemonade instead!YUCK! I would have been better off with water! I guess everybody has there down days and this was mine. I ate too much, too late! Thankfully I can try again tomorrow!
Who is in control?
Lately, I have spent so much time dwelling on my circumstances and feeling sorry for myself that I forget to look around me and see all the things I have to be thankful to God for in my life. Sometimes I get so caught up in current circumstances that I can’t always see and think clearly. Today after I worked out I decided to get some cardio in by walking to pick up the kids from school. I am glad I decided to do that because it was on that walk that God reminded me of all the good things that I have going on in my life and that meditating on negative and bitter thoughts only produces a negative bitter person. I have spent so much time in the negative thoughts and bitterness that it is taking me even longer to get out of the pit I have placed myself in. Today it was like God said enough Christy get up and remember who you serve. You may be asking, did any of my circumstances change today? No, we still don’t have our house sold, we are still living with other people and we are serving a church without a pastor. But, my perception changed today. Those are all things that currently I have no control over. I can choose to turn them over to God and let Him take control or let the circumstances control me. Thank you God for your word that reminds me, “The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.” Psalm 9:9,10
